Valentine's Day 2020

February 14, 2020

As promised to Christopher's many fans on Facebook and Instagram here is the rest of the story.

As you can see by the time at 7:14 PM on 2/13 I received the SOS call from Christopher. He did not realize I was in my room. I responded back I was downstairs and here is the text I received.

I immediately involved his dad.  There is no "How To" book out there on how to navigate the teen years and autism that truly focuses on the millions of day to day decisions that parents have to make.  The decisions we have to make are not always easy and Valentine's Day is one of the more challenging days.
We have a son who is physically 14 (almost 15) but has the cognitive abilities of a ten year old. He wants to be like every other kid his age. He wants friends. He wants a girlfriend. He wants to go out on the weekends. He wants kids to come over and hang out at our house or be invited over to their home. While Christopher is well liked by his peers, the phone rarely rings. His weekends are spent with us. He has been to maybe five birthday parties in his lifetime and while he has "fallen" for many girls, the feelings have yet to be returned. As parents we worry. We run all the possible scenarios about what giving a Valentine to a girl at school could mean for him. We consult "our circle" of advisers- his siblings, teachers, and other parents who share our journey. Once we were assured that the girl he was "crushing" on was a sweet girl who would be nothing but kind it was off to shop with his dad. (He told me that John was the expert!)

Gift was purchased and he was off to school.  I was anxiously awaiting for a text. It finally came just before the end of the day.

Although his teacher tried to get me a photo, Christopher said it was a "private moment" and that no photos were allowed. It took him a few attempts to make the delivery but he was able to "seal the deal".  The girl was very sweet about it and as a mother I am grateful for that, but at the same time I always wonder if he will ever find that girl that will return the feelings he has for them. 
Teen relationships are complicated enough, but the added layer of autism only complicates things even more. I have read MANY books, watched numerous hours of documentaries and news stories and find myself on Facebook support groups all the time. And while I may be well versed on the "book knowledge" of autism and relationships, living it alongside Christopher is a different story. Raising a child means your heart begins to beat outside of you. When you raise a child with special needs your heart becomes even more vulnerable. We are blessed to have found him a community that cares for him, but as parents we are doing our best to give him every opportunity afforded our other kids- including finding his own special Valentine. Tonight he celebrated with us with heart shaped pizza! #CapriottiPartyof3forlife